Issued in Public Interest - Ministry of Family Welfare

A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop; with them are their 8
Children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus
arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and her eight children
are able to fit in the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to
walk. After a while the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick
of the blind man and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at
the end of your stick, that ticking sound is driving me crazy!!"
The blind man replies: "If you would've put a rubber on the end of YOUR
stick, we'd be sitting in the bus! So shut up and keep walking !!!!"

Thanks.....to Sidh

Please take care of ur ICICI ATM / DEBIT CARDS

Please take care of ur ICICI ATM / DEBIT CARDS
ICICI ATM / Debit cards can be used at SBI ATMs to withdraw money and most shocking thing is, it does not ask for your PIN**. Even if it asks for pin and if u cancel it, it goes on to the next screen and enables you to withdraw cash. This security vulnerability was shown live on TV- 9 news channel at SBI ATM in Bangalore.So please take utmost care of your ICICI ATM / Debit cards to avoid any such misuse.
Please pass this to as many people as you know.
Thanks 2 Arunkumar -IBM..

Wonderful one minute...

One smart Software engineer and his Project Manager were traveling towards Pune in a train.
Just Opposite to their seat, a beautiful girl was sitting along with her grand ma.
With in some time, Eye-Eye interactions started between Our Software engineer & that girl.
After some minutes, train started moving in to a tunnel and it was very dark.
Suddenly, every body heard a Kiss sound followed by a sound of slapping.
Every body remained silent, when the train came out of the tunnel.
Grand ma thought that," The Guy is a rogue; how dare he is? He has kissed my grand daughter! But my Grand daughter is genuine; she immediately slapped that guy."
PM thought that," I can't believe that this guy has kissed that girl! But it is unfair that she slapped me by mistake"
That girl thought that," I feel happy, when that guy kissed me, but I feel sorry that my grand ma has slapped him".
Finally, do u know what our clever Software engineer thought?
"This one minute in my life is wonderful, it hardly comes...because, at a time I have kissed a girl and also I have slapped my PM."

Thanks 2 william...

Let Experts do their Work

This is a true story from the Japanese Embassy in US!!!
A few years ago, Prime Minister Mori was given some basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets president Bill Clinton...
The instructor told Mori Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Clinton, please say 'how r u'. Then Mr. Clinton should say, 'I am fine, and you?' Now, you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we, translators, will do the work for you.'
It looks quite simple, but the truth is...
When Mori met Clinton , he mistakenly said 'Who r u?' (instead of 'How r u?'. )
Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor: 'Well, I'm Hillary's husband, ha-ha...'
Then Mori replied 'me too, ha-ha... .'.
Then there was a long silence in the meeting room.
--->>>Moral of the Story: Let Experts do their Work

Managers' attitude

A team of Managers was given an assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So the Managers go out to the flagpole with ladders and tape. They're falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures - the whole thing is just a mess. An Engineer comes along and sees what they're trying to do, walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurement to one of the managers and walks away.

After the Engineer has gone, one manager turns to another and laughs." See this idiot. We're looking for height and he gives the length!"

Moral: "No matter what good you do, Managers can always find fault with you".

Thanks
D here

Don't copy if you can't paste!

A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience.
He Said : "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"

The audience was in silence and shock.
The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!"
Laughter and applause.

A week later, a top IT manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home. He was a bit foggy after a drink.

He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"
The wife went wild with shock and rage.
Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who she was!"

Moral of the story:
Don't copy if you can't paste!

Petrol pump faruds in bangalore - applicable to EVERYWHERE

Dear all... read it when u get time... and be careful tooo!!!! Plzz do
let ur
frnds also know abt tis....

I would like to bring to your kind attention the "Great Indian Petrol
Pump
Fraud" happening all over Bangalore (and I believe all over India ) .

Today in the morning ,I saw the fuel gauge of my car touching
the
"Empty" sign,so I thought that while on my way to office , I will fill
petrol
worth 1000 Rs in my car.When I reached the petrol pump at 9:30 Am
today(24th
April 2008)(BP petrol pump near richmond road) I showed the crisp 1000
Rs
note to the attendant at the petrol pump and told him to fill 1000 Rs.I
repeated 1000 to him 2-3 times so that he registers 1000 Rs in his head
fill
the petrol for 1000 Rs.I repeatedly told him because of the past
experience
whenever I had asked him to fill petrol worth 1000 bucks at different
gas
stations(ie for eg. at Advaitha Gas station,near udapi garden BTM to
name one
of them),the attendant always filled 200 rs of petrol and said "Sir your
200
rs of petrol is filled" . I used to say i asked you fill 1000 Rs of
petrol
not 200 worth.He would look at me like an innocent kid and would start
filling the remaining 800 Rs of petrol.

But
this
procedure of 200+800 didn't stop at one petrol pump but gas attendants
at all
the petrol pumps followed this weird ritual.I could sense something
fishy but
not before losing money to this procedure 3-4 times.So coming back to
Today's
incident I asked the "Honest" petrol pump attendant to fill the petrol,
While
filling the petrol my attention was diverted towards the pollution check
centre at the same petrol pump but when I looked back at the meter
indicator,I was shocked to see the familiar "200" mark at the petrol
pump
meter.I told him again why didn't you fill for 1000 Rs.He said that he
heard
200 Rs.So I told him to fill 800 Rs of petrol also.After he had filled
the
petrol ,I got in the car and started towards my office.While on my way
to
office.I observed the fuel gauge in my car.It had moved from "Empty"
first to
half and then little further.But from my past experience that when I
used to
get 1000 rs of fuel filled in the empty fuel tank,It used to come to
certain
level but today it hadn't come till there.So I thought SHIT....I got
Duped
again.

After reaching office I checked the Internet for same
Frauds which had happened before my case.I was shocked to find that many
other people also faced the same problem of 200+800 and some bikes of
40+60
bucks(these petrol pump attendants don't leave anybody).I spoke to my
boss
and a colleague of mine at office they told me of the same incident.I
was
like shit,this problem is not only with me but with people all over
Bangalore.Basically people all over Bangalore (maybe all over india )
are
getting cheated in this ingenious

fraud which is promoted by our friendly neighbour hood petrol pump
owners and
their honchos gas attendants .



The ingenious technique these people follow is discussed below in
italics



When asked for diesel worth Rs. 500. The attendant filled up only Rs.
100.
noticing that I told him to fill for Rs. 500 but by that time he is done
with
100 so the attender said he will fill up for remaining Rs. 400...that is
when
he did a trick of as though he is resetting by playing games of hurry
burry
and continuing to fill and when he is done for Rs. 400 he asked for 500
(100+400) but in reality he only filed for 100+300 as he is not really
resetted the machine to zero even though it appears as he reset it.


; So after reading the messages on the website I went back to
the
petrol pump ,parked my car in middle of the petrol pump called the
attendant
and told him that you have cheated me of 200 rs of petrol instead of
filling
petrol worth of 1000 Rs you have filled the petrol worth only 800 rs ,I
told
him I am gonna sue your petrol pump and I want to write a complaint
against
the same .He got frightened said "Sorry Sir By mistake i have not reset
200
rs".He didn't ask me any more questions and directly filled 200 Rs of
petrol.


I wonder that BP ,IOC,HP talk about going in losses and hence they ask
govt.
to increase the price of diesel and petrol but in reality petrol pump
owners
are helping us save lots of oil by asking us to pay 1000 rs but giving
us
petrol worth 800.What a brilliant way to conserve oil and make profit
for
petrol pump owners .I guess people should know about the ingenious way
in
which petrol pumps owners helps us .(Pardon me for the sarcasm) :-)



I am enclosing the website on which i went today to find information
about
the "Great Indian Petrol Pump fraud"

http://community.livejournal.com/bangalore/276353.html

let me add my two tips to the above....always watch the reading in the
meter.
Sometimes when you ask them to fill for 100rs, they will stop at 5.46
and ask
you again as if they didnot hear you and once you again yell 100, they
will
reset and fill for remaining 46rs.

The meter being a 4 digit one ,and unless you are carefull you wont be
able
to say for sure on whether he stopped at 5.46 or 54.6..so be
watchfull..for
me the notorius pumps are the one opposite to st antonys friary church
in
madiwala ,near to st johns hospital after siemens VDO and another one is
the
one near to silkboard ,after AXA on the left side of road when you go
from
BTM to silkboard.

again this is with the knowledge of petrol pump owners only.....

I Love My Eye

This information is sure to help PC users very much.

Steps of “20-20-20”

Step I :-

After every 20 minutes of looking into the computer screen, turn your head and try to look at any object placed at least 20 feet away. This changes the focal length of your eyes, a must-do for the tired eyes.

Step II :-

Try and blink your eyes for 20 times in succession, to moisten them.

Step III :-

Time permitting of course, one should walk 20 paces after every 20 minutes of sitting in one particular posture. Helps blood circulation for the entire body.

They say that your eyes are mirror of your soul, so do take care of them, they are priceless......


Otherwise our eye would be like this.....

I love my Eye

Deepak

WE ARE HONORABLE MEN! - Value of Man

If a female is reading this article then just realize the value of a man; and if its a male then feel proud of after reading it!

"One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?" The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living. The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, "No." The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. Again, the woodcutter replied, "No." The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, "Yes." The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy. Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?" "Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!" The Lord went down into the water and came up with ANGELINA JOLIE "Is this your wife?" the Lord asked. "Yes," cried the woodcutter. The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!" The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to ANGELINA JOLIE , You would have come up with CAMERON DIAZ . Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. so THAT'S why I said yes to ANGELINA JOLIE ." The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it! - "WE ARE HONORABLE MEN!!!!" isn't it?

Tendulkar's ...............

TENDULKAR


Destined to be a great" -Barry Richards.

"He is 99.5 percent perfect. I'd pay to see him" - Viv Richards.



"Don't bowl him bad balls, he hits the good ones for fours" - Michael Kasprowicz.

"It's scary, where the hell do we bowl to him" -Allan Border.

"There is no shame being beaten by such a great player. We didn't lose to
Team India. We Lost to Sachin Tendulkar" -Steve Waugh.

"If I've to bowl to Sachin, I'll bowl with my helmet on. He hits the ball so hard" - Dennis Lillee.

"I'd like to see him go out and bat one day with a stump. I tell you he'd do okay" -Greg Chappell.

"Cricketers like Sachin come once in a lifetime and I am privileged he played in my time" - Wasim Akram.

"The pressure on me is nothing as compared to Sachin Tendulkar. Sachin,
like God, must never fail. The crowd always expects him to succeed and it
is too much pressure on him" -Mark Waugh.

"Everybody gets 15 minutes of fame. But if there's one person I've admired
over a 15-year of period, it's definitely Sachin." - Brain Lara

"I'll be going to bed having nightmares of Sachin just running down the
wicket and belting me back over the head for six. He was unstoppable. I
don't think anyone, apart from Don Bradman, is in the same class as Sachin
Tendulkar. He is just an amazing player" -Shane Warne.

"I saw him playing on television and was struck by his technique, so I
asked my wife to come look at him. Now I never saw myself play, but I feel
that this player is playing much the same as I used to play, and she
looked at him on Television and said yes, there is a similarity between
the two... his compactness, technique, stroke production... it all seemed
to gel" -Sir Donald Bradman.

"In an over I can bowl six different balls. But then Sachin looks at me
with a sort of gentle arrogance down the pitch as if to say 'Can you bowl
me another one?'" - Adam Hollioke

Sachin is cricket's God? Barry Richards.

You might pitch a ball on the off stump and think you have bowled a good
ball and he walks across and hits it for two behind midwicket. His bat
looks so heavy but he just waves it arounad like it's a toothpick? -Brett Lee

You have to decide for yourself whether you're bowling well or not. He's
going to hit you for fours and sixes anyway? -Micheal Kasprowicz

Technically, you can't fault Sachin. Seam or spin, fast or slow ? nothing
is a problem? -Geoffrey Boycott.

His life seems to be a stillness in a frantic world... [When he goes out
to bat], it is beyond chaos - it is a frantic appeal by a nation to one
man. The people see him as a God... ? Mathew Hayden, on Sachin Tendulkar.

I (Embarrassed laugh) am a normal person who plays cricket. I am nothing
more than that? Sachin Tendulkar, on being told of above quote.

"The fact of the matter is that India still need Sachin in a big way. All
this talk of the youngsters taking over is very foolish. The reason why
Tendulkar is so important for the team is because of his ability to
inspire others and make them perform under pressure" - Some day on "Times of India".


Cricket is the religion and sachin is the God
Team India without Sachin is like Temple without God.

And, this is the best!!! (A True fan of Sachin carried this Banner in a match..)

"Commit all your crimes when Sachin is batting. They will go unnoticed because even the Lord will be gone to watch his batting!!!."

Regards,

A Devotee of Lord (Tendulkar)

The real face of george bush.....

George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk, he offers question time.

One little boy puts up his hand and George asked, what is your name?

Bob

And what is your question, Bob?

I have 3 questions.

First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?

Second, why are you president when al gore got more votes?

Third, what happened to Osama bin laden?

Just then, the bell rings for recess.

George bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resume George says, Ok where were we?

Oh, that's right. Question time. Who has a question?

A different little boy raises his hand.

George points him out and asked him what is your name?

Steve

And what is your question Steve?

I have 5 questions.

First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of UN?

Second, why are you president when Al Gore got more votes?

Third, what happened to Osama bin laden?

Fourth, why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early???????????????

Fifth, where is Bob??????????

Thanks

d here

The 10 biggest falls of the Sensex

The Bombay Stock Exchange benchmark Sensex sank by 951 points on black Monday on panic selling by funds, triggered by weak global cues. Similarly, the wide-based National Stock Exchange's index Nifty dropped by 243 points to 4,503.

The government meanwhile said that Indian stock markets are taking cues from the United States and Asian markets, even though the sub-prime mortgage crisis has only moderately impacted the credit and financial flows into the country.

---

The 10 largest falls of the Sensex

1. Jan 21, 2008 --- - 1,408.35 points

2. Mar 17, 2008 --- - 951.03 points

3. Mar 3, 2008 ---- - 900.84

4. Jan 22, 2008 --- - 875.41 points

5. Feb 11, 2008 --- - 833.98 points

6. May 18, 2006 --- - 826.38 points

7. Mar 13, 2008 --- - 770.63 points

8. Dec 17, 2007 --- - 769.48 points

9. Oct 17, 2007 --- - 717.43 points

10. Jan 18, 2007 --- - 687.82 points

Thanks

List of Shahrukh Khan's awards and nominations Contents 1 Film fare Awards 2 Star Screen Awards 3 International Indian Film Academy Awards 4 Zee Cine Awards 5 Bollywood Movie Awards 6 Global Indian Film Awards 7 Other Awards 8 National Honours 9 Other recognitions Film fare Awards Awards Won 1993 - Film fare Best Debut Award for Deewana 1994 - Filmfare Best Actor Award for Baazigar 1994 - Filmfare Critics Award for Best Performance for Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa 1995 - Filmfare Best Villain Award for Anjaam 1996 - Filmfare Best Actor Award for Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge 1998 - Filmfare Best Actor Award for Dil To Pagal Hai 1999 - Filmfare Best Actor Award for Kuch Kuch Hota Hai 2001 - Filmfare Critics Award for Best Performance for Mohabbatein 2003 - Filmfare Best Actor Award for Devdas 2005 - Filmfare Best Actor Award for Swades 2008 - Filmfare Best Actor Award for Chak De India (7th Film fare Best Actor Award) Special Awards 2002 - Film fare Special Award Swiss Consulate Trophy 2004 - Film fare Power Award 2005 - Film fare Power Award Awards Nominated 1994 - Filmfare Best Actor Award for Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa 1994 - Filmfare Best Villain Award for Darr 1998 - Filmfare Best Actor Award for Yes Boss 1999 - Filmfare Best Villain Award for Duplicate 2000 - Filmfare Best Comedian Award for Baadshah 2001 - Filmfare Best Actor Award for Mohabbatein 2002 - Filmfare Best Actor Award for Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham 2004 - Filmfare Best Actor Award for Kal Ho Naa Ho 2005 - Filmfare Best Actor Award for Main Hoon Na 2005 - Filmfare Best Actor Award for Veer Zaara 2007 - Filmfare Best Actor Award for Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna 2007 - Filmfare Best Actor Award for Don - The Chase Begins Again 2008 - Filmfare Best Actor Award for Om Shanti Om Star Screen Awards Winner 1996: Star Screen Award Best Actor for Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge 2002: Star Screen Award Jodi No. 1 (along with Kajol) for Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham 2003: Star Screen Award Best Actor for Devdas 2003: Star Screen Award Jodi No. 1 (along with Aishwarya Rai) for Devdas 2005: Star Screen Award Best Actor for Veer-Zaara 2005: Star Screen Award Jodi No. 1 (along with Preity Zinta) for Veer-Zaara 2007: Star Screen Award Jodi No. 1 (along with Rani Mukerji) for Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna 2008: Star Screen Award Best Actor for Chak De India 2008: Star Screen Award Jodi No. 1 (along with Deepika Padukone) for Om Shanti Om Nominated 1998: Star Screen Award Best Actor for Dil To Pagal Hai 1999: Star Screen Award Best Actor for Kuch Kuch Hota Hai 2001: Star Screen Award Best Actor for Mohabbatein 2002: Star Screen Award Best Actor for Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham 2004: Star Screen Award Best Actor for Chalte Chalte 2006: Star Screen Award Best Actor for Paheli 2007: Star Screen Award Best Villain for Don - The Chase Begins Again International Indian Film Academy Awards Winner 2003: IIFA Best Actor Award for Devdas 2005: IIFA Best Actor Award for Veer-Zaara Nominated 2001: IIFA Best Actor Award for Mohabbatein 2002: IIFA Best Actor Award for Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham 2006: IIFA Best Actor Award for Paheli 2007: IIFA Best Actor Award for Don - The Chase Begins Again Zee Cine Awards Winner 1998: Zee Cine Award Best Actor- Male for Dil To Pagal Hai 1999: Zee Cine Award Best Actor- Male for Kuch Kuch Hota Hai 2003: Zee Cine Award Best Actor- Male for Devdas 2004: Zee Cine Award Superstar of the Year- Male for Kal Ho Naa Ho 2005: Zee Cine Award Best Actor- Male for Veer-Zaara 2007: Fun Cinema Entertainer of the year for Don - The Chase Begins Again Nominated 2005: Zee Cine Award Best Actor- Male for Main Hoon Na 2005: Zee Cine Award Best Actor- Male for Swades 2006: Zee Cine Award Best Actor- Male for Paheli 2007: Zee Cine Award Best Actor- Male for Don - The Chase Begins Again 2007: Zee Cine Award Best Actor- Male for Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna Bollywood Movie Awards Winner 1999: Bollywood Movie Award - Most Sensational Actor for Dil Se 1999: Bollywood Movie Award - Best Actor for Kuch Kuch Hota Hai 2003: Bollywood Movie Award - Best Actor for Devdas 2005: Bollywood Movie Award - Best Actor for Veer-Zaara Global Indian Film Awards Winner 2004: GIFA Best Actor Award for Veer-Zaara 2004: GIFA Most Searched Male Actor on Internet Nominated 2006: GIFA Best Actor Award for Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna Other Awards Ten Rupa Cinegoers Awards Six Sansui Viewers Choice Movie Awards Two AFJA Awards One Aashirwad Award One Disney Kids Channel Award One MTV Immies Indian Music Excellence Awards One Sports World Film Award One Sahara One Sangeet Award - Best Actor Singer “Apun Bola” Josh - 2005 Star's Sabsey Favourite Kaun Awards: 2004: Sabsey Favourite actor 2005: Sabsey Favourite actor 2006: Sabsey Favourite actor 2007: Sabsey Favourite actor 2008: Sabsey Favourite actor 2007: HT Café Film Awards Best Actor Award for Chak De India. Sexiest Man in Asia (Jade Magazine, October 2001) Sexiest Asian Man (Eastern Eye, October 2007) National Honours 2002 - Rajiv Gandhi Award for Excellence in the Field of Entertainment 2005 - Padma Shri, India's fourth highest civilian award from the Government of India Other recognitions In 2004 Time magazine in their third annual special on Asia's heroes selected him along with 19 other Asian's as the 20 Asian Heroes under the age of 40 . Out of the 20, Khan was one of the four who graced the South Asian edition of that issue. In 2005 he appeared on the cover of the Asian edition of the National Geographic magazine dated February 2005. This was a rare honour extended by National Geographic since unlike many other magazines celebrities are not their natural choice for a cover image